The REAL Rules of the Mountain

Here's the REAL rules of the mountain:
1. Yield to the hosers downhill from you. Yes, everyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone going faster a maniac, but all you have to do is not run over anyone in front of you.
2. Don't stand on my f*ing snowboard (or skis as the case may be) in the lift line. If you do you're going to get thumped.
3. If you drink or 420 and ski you're not only risking your neck but mine. Save it for the après ski.
4. Help some one that's learning (find the chalet, pick up their yard sale or stand up after falling). If you don't you're a loser.
5. Ski racers are mostly dicks and will do everything to cut in front of you in the lift line to get one more lap.  Accept it with a Danny Davis smirk and palms up WTF and say "nice tights"...
6. Powder stashes are way more fun with friends.
7. You can have just as much fun with skis from the fall swap and a Carhart jacket as you can with a Descente gold lamay jumpsuit. this aint Chamonix people, act accordingly.
8. Remember the bumper sticker "Keep Skiing Weird"? Moral:  Who ever has the most fun wins...  ;-)